Currently, the most popular enquiry we’re getting here at Nine Rivers Distillery is about when we will have our first Open Day, to allow whisky lovers from all over China (and beyond) to come on over and see what’s going on. The old “chill out, you can come visit when we’ve finished construction” is falling on deaf ears. Whisky lovers want to be a part of it now now, and see everything as it’s being built.
Totally understandable – who wouldn’t want to see what’s going on, close up? As we all know, photographs and videos never really do anything the justice it deserves. Being on site, seeing it with our own eyes. Getting a real feel for the sheer scale of what we’re doing.
Our Open Day
So what will this Open Day consist of? In its most basic sense, it will be a chance for people to come to our site, have a tour of the construction site, ask as many questions as they want (to be answered by our expert Egghead and knower of all things, Lucas), take some pics (to show off and brag to everyone you know that you were there) and then we’ll all have some scoff and drinks.
Scoff will be provided in the form of an on site barbecue. Drinks will be provided throughout the day. There are rumours of there being adults only beverages too.
The Date and Time
Of course we need a date for all this fun on Open Day right? So here it is. Saturday 13th May. We expect people will probably start arriving around 10am and the actual tour will be at midday. Lunch at 1pm on site. Some people will probably start leaving at around 3pm although we anticipate some people will linger on until they get bored, or kicked out for being a bit of a mess (yes Mischa, we mean YOU…….)
Location
Of course, most of you already know where we are located and if you don’t, well shame on you. Our address is:
福建省龙岩市新罗区大池镇龙池路266号
266#, Long Chi Road, Da Chi Town, Xin Luo District, Fujian Province, China.
There’s a map available if you CLICK HERE. This map link isn’t perfect and it’s about 200 meters off target. But we’ll help you coordinate your arrival on the day.
The Cost
While it would be normal and understandable to put a hefty ticket price on the day, that’s just not how we roll. The cost is absolutely nothing. Zero. Nada. The tour, the scoff, the gluggs – as Melba Montgomery famously sang back in 1974……
Limited Spots – So Reserve Your Space Now!
Open Day is hosted at a construction site so naturally we will have a limit on how many people can turn up. We can’t take a horde of people on site. It’s a working building site and ensuring our construction team don’t loose time, due to us getting in the way, is far more important to us than having hundreds of people wandering around like lost sheep.
We have to plan for a set number of people. We need to ensure that we have bought enough safety equipment for all. We need to ensure we have enough scoff and grog to refresh y’all and we might also need to make sure you’re not just some dark, corporate spy working for Dr Evil, trying to find out the secrets to why our project is just so damn cool.
There will be zero accommodation for anyone that just rocks up unannounced. It’s a secure site with security guards and if your name is not on the list (and you have a recognised photo ID that proves you are the person on the list) you won’t get in. Period.
No amount of shouting at our security guards will change that. Additionally, please be aware of the fact that we reserve the right to use any CCTV footage of anyone giving a “Do you know who I am” type rant, on our social media channels for the entertainment of everyone that got their shit together and reserved their spot.
How to Reserve Your Place on May 13th
Obviously we make things really really complicated. The Open Day Event is no different.
Pop the QR code below, add Olive, tell her you want to come and how many guests you want to bring. Olive is fluent in both Chinese and English. Those of you requiring assistance in Sumerian, Canaanite, Hurrian or Mycenean Greek – you might want to quantum leap into the year 2023, where Chinese and English pretty much dominate the world of communication.
(As a side note, if you’re just a flux capacitor short of a time machine, we can introduce you to a guy called Josh, who’ll contract manufacturer it for you. Just get your Kickstarter campaign started because he’s gonna need a LOT of dollars for that…..)
Other Important Information
Choo Choo to Open Day
We would recommend everyone coming to Open Day to use the high speed rail network to get to Longyan.
There are a number of reasons why we recommend using the high speed rail network. Not least because it’s actually amazing. It’s fast. It’s reliable. It’s punctual and it’s really good value for money.
The nearest airport is Xiamen, so when you factor in the time it would take you to get to the airport, the fact you have to check in well before your flight, the time that the flight takes and the travelling from Xiamen to Longyan – a high speed train directly to Longyan is probably going to be quicker.
Clothing
We’d suggest you leave your suits, boots, frocks and high heels at home. Casual clothes and hiking boots are recommended. The site can be very muddy if there has been any rain and if you’re dressed up to the 9’s, you’ll end up trashing your threads and probably slipping and sliding all over the place.
As entertaining for the rest of us that might be, you might want to avoid videos of you, on your arse, up to your elbows in mud, in your bestest clobber at our Open Day, being a viral on DouYin.
No Minors
That’s right folks. No children. This is a construction site. Not a playground. We don’t have a creche on site and if you rock up with one or more of those little people, we’ll turn you away. Nothing against kids on a personal level. It’s just common sense that a building site and rumours of adult beverages after the tour kinda infer this isn’t going to be a smart choice for a family day out is it?
Anyone attempting to sneak children onto our site will have the child/children confiscated and then sold to pirates.
Health and Fitness
If you’re not fit and healthy, then our Open Day isn’t going to be something for you. There will be at least a kilometre of walking involved in the tour over rough and uneven ground. Think Class 3 Hiking Trails, with ladders and stairs thrown in for fun, and you’re getting there.
If you’re wobbling, hobbling, using walking aids or a chair with wheels then this really is not for you. If you run out of steam halfway through the tour, there is no rescue party or an air ambulance to fly you out. We’ll just leave you there – we aren’t going to delay lunch just because you weren’t in good physical health. We might save you some leftovers. But that’s not a given. That’s a maybe.
Liability
Everyone turning up for Open Day will be expected to sign a liability waiver. If you get hurt, that’s your own problem. We aren’t paying for you if you’re clumsy and fall off a roof at 24 meters high. Just think quick while you’re falling and aim for softer ground.
You’ll also need to provide an address in case we need to ship your body somewhere in the case of any fatalities. Obviously we wont pay the shipping costs. So make sure whoever is receiving your corpse has some coin in the bank.
No Alcohol Before The Tour
Anyone rocking up to our site on Open Day smelling of booze before the tour will be told to jog on and to return from whence though came. It’s not big. It’s not clever. In fact, it’s dumb as bricks. Remember, this is a construction site. Being drunk on site puts us and our construction partner at serious risk of legal issues. We won’t take that chance, so you’ll be waddling back to town feeling rather stupid.
Would You Like To Read More?
If you enjoyed reading about how we currently don’t see any alternatives to dramfunded, and you would like to catch up with some of our past articles, then please CLICK HERE and go to our News Section, where most of our other content is published.
Would You like To Know More About Helping Nine Rivers Distillery?
One of the easiest ways to help our project succeed is to take an interest in anything we have for sale. You can find out what we have if you CLICK HERE and go to our shop. We’ll make a few percentage points (after sales tax) and this goes directly to our project.
You could help us by simply buying your very own Brick for Life – a brick with a steel name plate wrapped around it, which will be cemented into The Plenum (our feature wall) in July 2023. Every brick owner is entitled to a free dram for life every time they visit us in Longyan, Fujian.
Or, you could learn more about being involved and help us grow to our target of 1000 stakeholders. You can read more about how we are Dramfunded if you CLICK HERE. Remember, we currently have no alternatives to dramfunded!
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Time to dust off the posh frocks and high heels for a yomp around a massive building site. All done with the highest attention to health and safety, as ably demonstrated by Hayden.