Executive Decision Number 2734

Sometimes we like to involve everyone in some of our really important decisions, so today we’re inviting everyone to get involved in Executive Decision Number 2734.

This is one of those really serious decisions, which could make or break the success of our project, so we want everyone to give this some really serious consideration before they cast their votes.

The vote is (obviously) to help us choose what type of grass we should have at our distillery. The short list is currently 4 styles detailed below.

OPTION 1 – Rhed Rhum

This is actually quite a new style of grass, a hybrid between Crimson Fountain Grass with regular lawn grass. Now into it’s 17th generation (so pretty stable, and unlikely to lose it’s colouring) this was suggested by Maggie. It’s her favourite colour. It matches her rage.

OPTION 2 – Malepartus

This is a cultivar from the Miscanthus sinensis (Chinese Silver Grass) known as ‘Malepartus’ (as ridiculous as that seems, it’s legit, here’s a link to a Wikipedia page where you can validate the name of the cultivar) that was suggested by Jay. The justification being that with his grey hair, he can hide in the grass when trying to avoid people.

Option 3 – The Green Green Grass of Home

We don’t actually know what this grass type is called. All we know is that it was grown from the seeds brushed out the beard of a chirpy young Irish fella, the last time he fell asleep drunk, on a bench in Shekou in Shenzhen. We picked a name best fitting to him and his heritage.

Any similarities in this story to a guy called Liam, are all purely coincidental.

Option 4 – Goldie Looking Bling Bling Stylee

Another hybrid here, an 11th generation mashup of Syngonanthus nitens from Jalapao in Tocantins in Brazil (courtesy of one of our Brazilian investors), and Hakonechloa macra, AKA, Japanese forest grass. Nominated by our very own King Of Bling, Mr. Funkie Jacket himself, Uncle Alberto.

Be Serious

While it may be tempting to view this as a joke, it’s crucial that we all take it seriously. Vote for the grass that you think will underpin the future success of our project.